I don’t know what I want. The more I work with people who say they don’t know their heart’s desires, the more clear it becomes that they know more than they admit. Wait, so you’re calling your clients liars? Absolutely not. The problem isn’t that they don’t know what they want. It’s that they either think they don’t know what they want or that they think they don’t deserve it. They’ve either forgotten how to use their internal GPS system or they think they’re not even allowed to want what their heart’s desires let alone fulfill them. Or both. Rusty navigational equipment plus limiting thinking equals stuck. So how do you get clear about what you want and start getting more of it in your life? Trust. Trust Your Knowing There was a time when you knew. There was a time when you did things you were naturally drawn to,. . . .Read more . . .
What I really want is to find my purpose. That sentence, uttered by a potential client, used to be my personal kryptonite. I could help them for sure, in spite of a story in my head telling me I wasn’t very good at it. Working with – and helping – enough purpose seekers finally helped me to see that story for the lie that it was. Mr. Rogers helped, too. Missing the Trolley I never watched Mister Rogers Neighborhood as a kid. I don’t have kids, and the middle schoolers I taught were too cool to admit that they watched when they were little. Fred Rogers spoke at commencement at my alma mater – the year before I graduated – so I missed him there, too. But I know enough about him to predict this with confidence: Fred Rogers didn’t find his purpose by sitting around and thinking about it.. . . .Read more . . .
If you’re feeling stuck and out of options, I believe there’s always another way. Always. Pretty bold, huh? No, I don’t have the peer reviewed academic studies to support my claim, but in my experience, there’s always another way – usually several – a lot more often than we think. And the likelihood of missing those other ways goes up exponentially when we try to figure out everything by ourselves, take only the same point of view, and try to get un-stuck with the same tools that got us stuck in the first place. So, yeah, I’m sticking with there’s always another way. Support, Viewpoint, Tools You can find those other ways more easily and more consistently when you get support, shift your view, and use new tools to get where you want to go. Here’s an example of wayfinding another way from my seasonal, part time side hustle. As kids. . . .Read more . . .
When you navigate your next, you need a compass and a map. If you were going to hike a new trail, would you bring a compass or a map? You can only choose one and there’s no cell service, but the distance and terrain are within your strength and skill levels. If you can follow the sun or stars, skip the compass. If it’s an out and back hike and you’re good at noticing landmarks, skip the map. You can navigate the physical world with either a compass or a map, or neither. To navigate new chapters in our lives, it takes both. Wrong Map What’s your five-year plan? Inside my head: that’s way too long, life’s too uncertain and changes too fast, that’s not what you want to hear, I need this job, I have to say something that will make hire me, QUICK! Before I could form the words,. . . .Read more . . .
Decluttering can help you do more than get rid of stuff. Done right, it can help you rediscover the internal qualities to help you thrive, as long as you use your rediscovered brilliance instead of letting it sit on a shelf. When I woke up this morning, I realized I was breathing easily and silently for the first time in, oh, I don’t know, months, years, the lifetime since an otolaryngologist described my septum as “the most deviated I’ve seen in my 40-year career.” I savored the scent of eucalyptus, peppermint and lemongrass – through both nostrils – recalling how I rediscovered the aromatherapy beads during a recent decluttering spree. A couple of weeks ago. In a bottle from a store that closed shortly after superstorm Sandy. In 2012. I finally took it from the shelf and set some next to my pillow. Yesterday. My chronic sinus issues were largely resolved. Overnight. If. . . .Read more . . .