Overcoming Obstacles as You Navigate Change

(http://www NULL.flickr NULL.com/photos/44124425616 null@null N01/609777936/)Imagine yourself, facing an obstacle. Picture the obstacle as a door. One you really want to open. And go through. It’s closed, but not locked. Now imagine that it’s open, just a little. Still a tight squeeze. Getting through will take effort. Ingenuity. Persistence. Courage. You’re not sure you’re up to it, but you really want to get past that door. What do you do? The Rabbit as Coach, Yet Again Watching Elphaba the Office Rabbit frantically trying to escape her Custom Bunny Condo the other morning made me think about the ways my clients – and I – deal with obstacles. I’d been traveling, so she’d been stuck in her cage, er, house, much longer than usual. When I came downstairs that morning, she was furiously gnawing on the little bars, a sure sign that she wants out. Even more than she wants dandelion greens.. . . .

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Boost Your Happiness with Simple Arithmetic

You’re one of the happiest people I know. It’s a wonder I didn’t hurt myself whipping my head around to see who she was talking to. Lucky for me, the speaker was a trusted colleague, one who seems to have been absent the day they handed out sarcasm. The truth is, for a long time, I was pretty miserable. My glass was half empty. On a good day. I complained. A lot. So much that my dad once said to my mom, “we know she’s OK; she’s still bitching.” Fully intending that I’d overhear. Then I Got Happy I didn’t realize it at the time, but it happened thanks to what I now call Happiness Math. Math phobic? Don’t stress. It’s a simple equation Sonja Lyubomirsky explains in The How of Happiness (http://www NULL.amazon NULL.com/The-How-Happiness-Approach-Getting/dp/0143114956/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361063166&sr=8-1&keywords=the+how+of+happiness). H = S + C + V Happiness equals set point plus circumstances plus voluntary. . . .

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Code Cracking, Hand Fishing and Going with the Flow

Early yesterday afternoon, I dragged myself away from my laptop long enough to slice some cheese and an apple and take it back to my desk so I could nibble while I worked. Six hours after I sat down, intending to spend thirty minutes tweaking a client’s web site, I finally ate lunch. I might still be there, if I hadn’t been starving at sunset. I wasn’t facing a deadline. The client’s on vacation, with no sense of urgency for me to finish. I was simply caught up in what I was doing, my intention fully aligned with my attention. Intention Meets Attention I was focused, completely involved in what I was doing. I had a sense of being outside my usual routine. I knew what needed to be done and how well I was doing. I knew that my skills were adequate to the task. I felt a sense. . . .

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child reading in hammock

Ten Flavors of Positivity: Define Your Happy, and More

Positive psychology makes people happier. Martin Seligman He should know. He wrote the book on it. For well over a decade, Seligman has overseen and synthesized hundreds of academic studies about positive psychology, all while teaching dozens of researchers and practitioners in the academic discipline he essentially founded. He wanted to call his first book on the topic – wait for it – Positive Psychology, but his publisher insisted upon Authentic Happiness, insisting that people would be more likely to buy a book with the word happiness in the title. I suspect the publisher was onto something, even as the author disagreed. The primary problem with that title [Authentic Happiness] and with “happiness” is not only that it under explains what we choose, but that the modern ear immediately hears “happy” to mean buoyant mood, merriment, good cheer, and smiling. Just as annoying, the title saddles me with that awful. . . .

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Lessons of a Long-Eared Life Coach

To celebrate the first anniversary of sharing my home – and a big piece of my heart – with Elphaba, the abandoned rabbit who all but knocked on my front door demanding baby carrots, here are a few of the lessons I continue to learn from my long-eared life coach. Choose Your Tribe Well According to the one-woman, self-appointed neighborhood watch, Elphaba hung out in our courtyard for almost a month before I saw her. Two little girls played with her near a clump of bushes behind my building. She left tracks in the snow the length of sidewalk from the parking lot to the playground during the one snowstorm last winter. She hung around neighborhood-watch-woman’s front door so frequently, her grandson is still mad at me for “taking away my rabbit.” But when it got really cold, and presumably, she got really hungry, she moved her home base to. . . .

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